This was a surreal experience. I was honored as one of Utah's Pioneers of Progress for 2009. Part of the honor is riding in the Pioneer Day Parade, which I guess is more correctly known as the Days of 47 Parade (as in 1847). First, we were a little more than half way back in the parade and so we waited an hour and a half to just get started. All the "dignataries" were on one block together, so we were trapped with a lot of politicians running for election because politicians are always running for election. A stun gun would have come in handy. I thought about pretending I had fainted, but I was afraid it would mobilize too many people into taking actions that would violate membranes I hold sacred.

A lot of people come to the parade. Thousands. People camp out over night to see the parade. People who clearly do not have to keep up with e-mail. It is a state holiday, so I assume people are off work. Grandpa and Grandma, aunts and uncles, and countless little kids who are cooking in the heat of the day. There are floats and bands, horses and old cars, and people in cars like me who wave and wonder what in the hell am I doing and why are people taking pictures of me? Are they really going to take them home, download them, and say to their friends, "Look, I got a picture of Jack Brittain?"

Alex and Vili rode with me. We had a Jeep Wrangler with a back that came off leaving a rollbar and back deck open. I stood in the back and waved. It is true: your arm gets really tired of waving.We saw a lot of people we know, but we did not know they are crazy parade people until today. Alex saw school mates, and I still cannot figure out if this was bad or good. Small children pretended to shoot us, but their squirt guns were not quite powerful enough to actually get us wet, which was unfortunate because a good soaking would have cooled us off. Motorcycle police officers rode up and down the flanks of the parade to keep the crowds under control. It never occurred to me that they might rush our vehicle, other than in a desperate attempt for some bottled water. I guess I should have left my will on the dining room table.

We survived it all. I am sure it was a grand spectacle for those who attended. We were glad we were not directly behind the horses and for the volunteers who were shoveling up the horse leavings at a frantic pace. I am still worried about all the pictures out there. I hope all will wisely use the delete option provided with their camera software, leaving no trace of the image to confound future generations.